Do It For The Kids: 5 Ways Collaborative Divorce Benefits Your Children

It may sound cliché, but perhaps the truest fact of divorce is that it is your children who will suffer the most. Children are far less equipped to handle such upheaval in their lives than adults. They are still developing, trying to figure out who they are and discover their place in the world. They depend on consistency and reliability in order to feel safe, and parents are by far the most important source of stability in their lives.

A divorce—and particularly a contentious and hostile divorce—pulls the rug out from under children, disrupts everything they thought they knew, and can shatter their confidence and feelings of security.

That’s not to say you should just not get a divorce when your relationship falls apart. An unhappy and unhealthy marriage could be even more detrimental for your children than a bad divorce. What we are saying is that it is vital that you handle the divorce in a manner which is the least destructive for your children.

We have often discussed the numerous benefits of getting a Collaborative Divorce as opposed to a traditional, litigated divorce, but today we will detail five major benefits specifically for your children.

To put it simply, collaborative divorce is far easier on your children than a traditional divorce, and here are five reasons why:

1) Lower conflict

By removing the threat of litigation and forcing divorcing couples to consider each other’s needs and work together to reach equitable resolutions to their disagreements regarding the terms of the divorce, the collaborative approach minimizes contention and hostility, which helps significantly reduce the levels of conflict throughout the divorce process. When a child’s parents are openly confrontational with one another, it can be incredibly traumatizing. Minimizing parental conflict is key to helping your kids survive your divorce.

2) Child specialists

The collaborative divorce process allows for the involvement of professional child specialists who can help you better understand what your children will need in order to cope and adjust with your divorce. They will work to ensure that your child’s best interests are always considered when it comes to collaborative decision making.

3) Better parenting plan

The collaborative process is driven by the parents, rather than a judge, meaning you will be able to achieve a creative and effective parenting plan that both parents can be happy with. If a judge orders a parenting plan which one parent is angry about, this can lead to more conflict that will be harmful for your children. If both parents work together to develop a plan that they can both feel comfortable adopting, then it will be much easier for your children to adjust to that plan as well.  

4) Foundation for Post-Divorce Cooperation

The skills parents will develop and utilize throughout the collaborative divorce process will oftentimes translate to better cooperation with one another after the divorce is finalized as well. In order for your children to cope and adapt to these major changes in their lives, it is vital that parents work together on effective co-parenting. This requires strong communication skills and an ability to work together even when you may be feeling angry or frustrated with each other. The manner in which you must work together during the collaborative divorce process lays a foundation that can be applied to effective communication and co-parenting after the divorce.

5) Privacy

No one wants their kids to be a part of a public spectacle. If your divorce goes to court, then the details will be public record. Collaborative divorce proceedings, however, are private and confidential. By utilizing the collaborative method for your divorce, you can help ensure that the details of your dissolution remain private, and in turn protect the privacy of your children.

If you would like to learn more about Collaborative Divorce, please contact Landerholm Law today and let us work to ensure your divorce is as easy on your children as possible.

Written by Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce

Our passion is helping individuals like you resolve your divorce and family law challenges with as little stress as possible. We understand that this is a difficult time in your life and we strive to give you predictability and peace of mind throughout all legal proceedings. One of the key ways in which we deliver that experience is by customizing our approach to fit your exact needs.